Anti-Racism II

CU Boulder

Week 2 Linguistic Constructions of Race and Racism

Discussion Prompt #1: What Did You Experience?

 

[What Did You Experience? This may be difficult, but reflect on and share the emotions that you experienced while engaging with the content in this part of Week 2 of the course.]

Annoyance (as a White person confronted with this problem in the first place); Incredulity (that we as the Human Family haven’t grown past this as yet), Anger (that I feel by the implicit/explicit accusations); Guilt (that ‘my people’ have long been complicit regarding this segment of history); Shame (that I’m implicated in this by all this solely by the fact that I’m White); Curiosity (regarding what BIPoC people are thinking and feeling); Fear (regarding the individual and collective responses of BIPoC persons); Embarrassment (that other White folks would tell me this is all BS, and I’m ‘foolish’ [euphemistically speaking] for pursuing it). Wow! The reactions and emotions can flow—and do.

Anti-Racism II

CU Boulder

Week 1 Historical Constructions of Race and Racism
Discussion Prompt #3: Toxic Masculinity in Your Community

[Toxic Masculinity in Your Community Reflect on the ways that toxic/hypermasculinity creates societal problems in your town, city, country, school, etc. Pick one location and discuss.]

Week 1 Discussion Prompt #3: Toxic Masculinity in Your Community

As an older retired person, I haven’t observed much in the way of toxic masculinity directly, though I resonate with the material I’ve reviewed thus far in this course. However, when in junior high and high school many years ago, bullying was often used to ‘encourage’ guys to comply with masculine expectations of what being a strong and dominant male personality should be. Levels of Power were established by the resulting pecking order of young males: the jocks, the wannabes, the geeks, the band kids, the smokers, the ‘re-tards.’ In my experience, it was the sports-playing extrovert—to my mind often undisciplined, loud and obnoxious—who was found acceptable in the halls, on the field of sport, and out about town. And this included, unfortunately in my view, a significant number of young women who bought into that poison. Incredulity and Jealousy much?

I admit my perspective may be biased and exceptionally skewed, but I hated the bullying with a passion and still do. I was hurt by it and bear the scars still. I can see readily how some many people were—and are—attracted to Mr Trump and his minions of sycophantic charlatans and scoundrels. That’s what’s happening, isn’t it? This continuing poison? 

Anti-Racism II

CU Boulder

Week 1 Discussion Prompt #2

[Unknown Histories Now that you have completed “After the Land Settles", reflect on what you learned. Did you discover histories that were previously unknown to you?​ Is there anything else that you'd like to share with your peers?]

Week 1 Discussion Prompt #2: Unknown Histories

I’d heard of The Birth of a Nation, but until I began this course had never seen it. I assumed it was the realization of straightforward documented material until I got into the second part (Reconstruction) and really began to question what I was watching. The positioning and behavior of the two principal families, the pro-Union Stonemans, and the pro-Confederate Camerons both caught me a little off guard—especially as we got into the segments regarding the time of the Carpetbaggers and the inception of what came to be the Ku Klux Klan. “What In the World Is This?” I asked myself. I came to realize that this film—though exceptionally well done and thoroughly engaging—was nothing less than divisive and hateful racist drivel, jingoism, and pro-Klan propaganda. Gah! I did some further research (OK, I goggled it.) and confirmed that this was generally considered so from moderates to progressives to liberals—including some noteworthy historians and even respected film critics I’ve followed for some time.

I neither feel nor accept much in the way of personal guilt, but I’ve been thinking about ancestral guilt—regarding a number of similar constructs—for several years now. And here too I must consider a spiritual component tempered by Jewish/Christian influences. By taking this my third course I show that I’m obviously interested and remain open to learned instruction, persuasive writings, and thoughtful and engaging discussions and debate. On Facebook several months back, I attempted to join a racial relations support group and voiced pretty much the same opinions. I was immediately scolded and told sternly something like, “There is no conversation. There is no debate. You must hold as basic truths all we tell you, or you’re of no use to us or yourself.” [Posted by one of the administrators I believe.] Yeah . . . No . . . That kind of angry and hateful BS goes nowhere with me fast. [See how quickly I bristle? Something to work on . . . ]

What did Sean O’Neal say in his introductory remarks? “We present this challenging material with empathy, peace, and love.” That’s what will get my attention. That’s what will convince me to be an ally and an anti-racist.

From my FB post of earlier today . . .

Today's Literary Perusal: 1) Re-Reading a published essay from an old friend; 2) A bit more CRT Law; and 3) Some Nicholas Evans [The Divide]. UpComing: Continuing entries into my Blog; plus a new online Racial Theory course out of Johns Hopkins. Reading & LifeLong Learning: This is my Kung Fu, and it is Strong . . . 😐 

Anti-Racism II

CU Boulder

Week 1 Discussion Prompt #1

[Oppressive Structures Reflect on and discuss the ways in which communities in your country suffer under oppressive structures that have historically conditioned conceptions of race, such [as] Settler Colonialism in the United States.]

 Week 1 Discussion Prompt #1: Oppressive Structures

During a previous on-line course through Coursera [Racial and Cultural Diversity in Life and History, The University of Illinois], I invested a good bit of time looking into the American Indians of the West; or Native Americans, if you will; or the US Indigenous Peoples, if you prefer; or the term I’ve come to appreciate that is often used in Canada: The First Nations Peoples. I centered my research and thinking for a required paper on these folks.

I’ve been attentive to the Vids in Week 1 and have been able to fill in some gaps since then regarding Settler Colonialism. I’ve also reached for my battered copy of Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee for another read-through. I’ll probably watch Dances with Wolves again as well. But I can’t help but continue to focus particularly on the Cheyenne (Northern and Southern); the various Sioux Nations—especially the Lakota and Ogallala; the Arapaho; and more locally to Southern Colorado, the Utes.

The systematic subjugation of entire native nations by continuing federal, territorial, state and private means of harassment; warfare to the point of genocide; relocation; land-grabbing; allocation of greatly reduced lands—in territory, in water and life-sustaining animals, in various desirable plants and trees, in natural beauty and general appeal— those lands generously called reservations—is nothing short of criminal. Add to that the extensive lying and manipulative subterfuge at all levels of government to the advantage of migrating white settlers, trappers, and miners; plus the continuing mismanagement and neglect of these peoples up to and including today. Such a travesty of ethical and honorable behavior and justice is shameful and cringeworthy. And I believe we as White people are correct to ascribe to a sense of ancestral guilt and responsibility. The whole business makes me ashamed and angry. 

Anti-Racism II

CU Boulder

Week 1 Discussion Prompt A

[Introduce Yourself! Thank you and welcome to the course! Please use this discussion to introduce yourself to your fellow learners. Reveal a little something about whom you are, what you do, what you like to do, or what you wish you could be doing. This is not one of the standard surveys; you know the one that asks for race/ethnicity, gender, and so on. Disclose what you feel is the best way to self-identify. Discuss what brought you to this course, or why you feel the ensuing work and self-engagement you are about to take on is important to you.]

Discussion Prompt: Introduce Yourself!

The British Isles and Northern France. Then on to Canada, eventually moving down to the Southern US and subsequently to the American West. White. Nothing extra. Nothing that even begins to bring me by genetics or natural disposition into a more inclusive branch of our humanity—or so my Ancestry profile informs me. I’m OK with being white. Despite my own complicated plate of challenges and difficulties, it’s worked for me all my life. And yet I care about current perceptions and realities regarding Racism. I care about its origins in our great but seriously flawed country, about white ancestral complicity in the historical context, and about my responsibilities as a citizen of the 21^st Century.

I’m now retired—both as a public-school music teacher and as a guest services representative at a Christian conference center. My interests include music, reading, climate science, religion, astronomy, and writing. I’m an aficionado of Bach and Brahms and Mozart and many of the Renaissance composers and Arnold Schoenberg and Philip Glass; but I’m also a fan of Queen, The Beatles, ABBA, The Statler Brothers, and Aerosmith; and again, a devotee of Leo Tolstoy and Jane Austen and Cicero and Clive Cussler and the Brontë Sisters and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. When younger I would hike and camp and canoe and crawl through caves and participate in ropes course activities—not so much of that anymore. But I remain a lifelong student.

This is my third Coursera on-line course based on racial theory and praxis. And I’m looking forward to the continuing enlightenment; the stimulating and practical conversation; and the encouragement and prompting necessary to actively pursue racial and social justice in this time and place. In her article, ‘Settler Colonialism, Race, and Decolonization,’ Dr. Natalie Avalos remarks, “. . . that this isn’t about guilt. Rather, this is a reckoning.” Welp, I gotta say I feel a bit of the guilt; and it’s past time for a substantive reckoning.

My sister (the university academician) insists I’m a Liberal. I’m not convinced about that, but I do know this pursuit is important to me. Very.

Anti-Racism II

CU Boulder

Introductory Blog Draft to Anti-Racism II

I’m currently engaged in my third on-line college level course focused on Anti-Racism. Being a white guy, I’ve been feeling the pinch of critical thought regarding People of Color and the North American Indigenous Peoples (I like the Canadian appellative, First Nations) these past few years. Though I don’t feel a lot of personal guilt, the learned discussion and angry individual and corporate responses to alleged injustices over the past several hundred years can’t help but have gained my attention. After all, I’m supposed to be a good guy . . . right?

I believe there is a social construct that includes ancestral awareness and generational responsibility. Therefore, though I don’t think I’ve made any substantive contribution to the current climate of “racial” unrest, I do think I need to recognize that my white ancestors did, and that I must not only accept the historicity of these difficulties but do what I can—both by intellectual accent and active participation—to assuage the damage done and address what social justice requires.

To this purpose, I thought I’d post over the next few weeks the various short pieces required of me by the design of the course . . .

Preface to the Concept I have in Mind

I’ve got something whirling about in my head regarding an on-line college-level anti-racism course I’m taking. Let me think about it a bit more and I’ll be back to you . . .

Here's the recipe Debra used for her chili a couple of days ago. She found it at a demo kiosk at Walmart of all places a couple of years ago. Imagine that. Anyway, we like this recipe quite well.

Chipotle Green Chili

Ingredient List:

• 1 pound fresh-ground Sausage
• 1 pound fresh-ground Ground Beef
• 2 packages Chipotle Taco Seasoning
• 1 can Great Northern Beans (or Navy Beans)
• 1 can Black Beans
• 1 16 oz. can Tomato Sauce
• 2 jars 505 Green Chili, medium heat
• 1 package Pictsweet Seasoning Blend (frozen foods)—or you may use fresh, pre-sautéed ingredients: ¼ cup diced Green Bell Pepper, ¼ cup diced Red Bell Pepper, ⅓ cup diced Celery, ½ cup diced Onion. Add some fresh-chopped parsley toward the end of the prep if you wish.
• 1 can petite cut Diced Tomatoes
• 12 oz. Beer (not lite!) or Chicken Broth

Instructions for Preparation:

Brown the Ground Beef and the Sausage; drain well. Mix all other ingredients into a crock pot or slow cooker and add the meats. Cook on low for 6-8 hours, stirring occasionally.

Serving Suggestions:

Spoon over Fritos and garnish with you choice of a little chopped green onion, shredded cheddar cheese, a dollop of sour cream, a few slices of fresh avocado. If you prefer, substitute cornbread for the Fritos, or include crackers or warm tortillas on the side.

This recipe will serve 4-6 persons depending on gastronomical requirements.

From the Kitchen of:

Debra Millsap

~adapted from Walmart handout recipe

12/10/2012

Mama’s Southern Style Cornbread

Ingredient List:

• 1 cup Buttermilk
• 1 (or maybe 2) Eggs
• ½ tsp Baking Soda
• ½ tsp Salt
• 1 Tbs Sugar
• 1 cup or so of Aunt Jemima or Quaker yellow Corn Meal
• 2–3 Jalapeño Peppers (optional), topped, de-veined, seeded, diced and pre-sautéed for 4–5 minutes.

Instructions for Preparation:

In a well-seasoned medium cast-iron skillet, preheat some very good quality vegetable oil to the cooking temperature of 425˚. Be sure to round the oil to coat entirely the bottom and sides of the skillet.

In a medium to large bowl, add to the buttermilk 1 or 2 eggs and stir thoroughly. Mix the dry ingredients separately—save for the corn meal—and add to the wet ingredients, stirring very thoroughly.

Add 1 cup of corn meal. If you choose to use the second egg, you may need to add just a bit more. Stir in thoroughly. It’s better for the mixture to be slightly “wet” than to make it too dry.

Add the diced and pre-sautéed Jalapeño peppers if you’d prefer that option. You may also add a bit of red, diced and pre-sautéed red bell pepper if you wish.

Pour into the pre-heated skillet and return to oven for 22–25 minutes. At about 20 minutes, check by lightly thumping a wooden spoon in the center of the cornbread. When the retort sounds like a ripe watermelon, you’re pretty much done.

Serving Suggestion:

Remove from pan, invert onto a plate and slice. Split and add real butter to taste. Please don’t ruin this cornbread with margarine! That stuff’s only one molecule away from plastic and won’t match very well.

This ain’t no Yankee-made sweet cornbread. If you want that, go get a cake mix.

This cornbread goes especially well with the Potato Soup and Hunter’s Stew, also to be found in this collection of recipies. Try it also with pan-fried pork chops, fresh cooked mixed greens and especially pinto beans. It’ll do with just a chopped burger and some mixed vegetables as well.

From the Kitchen of:

Anna Millsap

29 January 2011

Author's Bio Draft (Revision A)

[After correcting, revising and incorporating several excellent suggestions, I've come up with something a bit better. Still looking for interest and impact though . . . something you'd read on the back of a book. Soooo, I'm still open to critique with an eye toward improvement. Thanks again!]

Richard Kim Millsap

Author’s Biography

Richard Kim Millsap is an experienced free-lance writer, reviewer, blogger, poet and composer. He was a public school educator in Colorado Springs for 28 years, serving as music teacher to elementary and middle-school students. After retirement, he invested an additional seven-plus years serving the particular patrons of Glen Eyrie, a private Christian conference center owned by The Navigators. Kim currently works in a volunteer capacity as content editor and sometime contributor for the newsletter and web-site of Grace and St. Stephen’s Episcopal Church.

Kim holds a M.M. in Music History and Literature from Colorado State University and a B.A. in Music Education from Arkansas Tech University. Additional formal coursework includes The University of Colorado at Boulder, The University of Colorado at Colorado Springs as well as numerous workshops, extensions and conferences across the United States.

Kim somehow found time as an educational and business writer and editor, creating the various student handbooks and instructional content across the years. At Glen Eyrie, Kim solidified and co-authored the standard operating procedures for Guest Services as well as serving as principal administrator for social media. He has participated in writer’s conferences in Colorado with Angela Hunt, Nancy Rue and Kathryn Mackel; and in Washington with Garth Stein.

Whilst at Glen Eyrie, Kim became especially intrigued by the life of Civil War officer William Jackson Palmer, founder of Colorado Springs. With strong tie-ins to his additional interests in western living and literature, firearms and ballistics, camp-style cuisine, brass instruments and various historical locales came the seminal ideas for Cheyenne Swirling.

As a former band and choral director, Kim has presented his students in hundreds of concerts and addressed audiences comprised variously of students, parents, patrons and conference attendees. Having also presented formally in Colorado and Ontario, he is a confident and adept public speaker. If Kim has any particular claim to fame otherwise, it is as a founding member of the Academy District Twenty classic rock group, Mid-Life Crisis.

Kim’s book and film reviews may be found on Amazon (writing as Russell de Ville). See his blog at lucidnoodle.blogspot.com. He is also conscientiously active on Facebook. Cheyenne Swirling is the author’s first novel. 

Author's Biography

[So here's what I've cobbled together as a Draft for my Author's Bio. To the extent you'd care to critique and comment, I'd be appreciative!]

Richard Kim Millsap

Author’s Biography

Richard Kim Millsap is alive and well in Colorado.

Kim was a public school educator in Colorado Springs for 28 years, serving principally as a band director, general music teacher and choral conductor for elementary and middle-school students. After retirement, he invested an additional seven-plus years serving the particular patrons of Glen Eyrie, a private Christian conference center owned by The Navigators. Kim currently works in a volunteer capacity as content editor and sometime contributor for the newsletter and web-site of Grace and St. Stephen’s Episcopal Church.

Kim holds a M.M. in Music History and Literature from Colorado State University and a B.A. in Music Education from Arkansas Tech University. Additional formal coursework includes The University of Colorado at Boulder, The University of Colorado at Colorado Springs as well as numerous workshops, extensions and conferences across the United States.

Kim somehow found time as an educational and business writer and editor, creating the various student handbooks and instructional content across the years. At Glen Eyrie, Kim solidified and co-authored the standard operating procedures for Guest Services as well as serving as principal administrator for social media.

Also whilst at Glen Eyrie, Kim became especially intrigues by the life of Civil War officer William Jackson Palmer, founder of Colorado Springs. With strong tie-ins to his additional interests in western living and literature, firearms and ballistics, camp-style cuisine, brass instruments, various historical locales came the seminal ideas for Cheyenne Swirling.

As a former band and choral director, Kim has presented his students in hundreds of concerts and addressed audiences comprised variously of students, parents and conference attendees. Having also presented formally in Colorado and Ontario, he is quite confident and adept as a public speaker. If Kim has any particular claim to fame otherwise, it is as a founding member of the Academy District Twenty classic rock group, Mid-Life Crisis.

Kim’s book and film reviews may be found on Amazon (writing as Russell de Ville) and Goodreads. See his blog at lucidnoodle.blogspot.com. He is also insanely active on Facebook. Cheyenne Swirling is the author’s first novel. 

Whilst at The Stanley, pt I

Debra and I recently took a few days and went up to Estes Park to get away from the city and relax a bit. Whilst there, we stayed at the Stanley Hotel, built in the early 1900s by F O Stanley of Stanley Steamer fame. We were put up in a fairly warm (No AC in this Hotel!) 4th floor attic room, one initially used by maids and nannies back in the day. I should have considered the descriptive term ‘cozy’ more carefully I suppose. Still, I felt rather like we were being punished for I know not what. I had requested an upgrade but there was none to be had.

Be that as it may, we had a nice, quiet time. We went exploring and found Stephen King’s room, examined several artifacts and antiques down in the garden level, walked the grounds, rode the vintage Otis elevator, sat on the front porch (veranda?), visited and shopped the village, and enjoyed some pretty good victuals here and there. We particularly enjoyed the Cascades Restaurant in the Hotel and the very attentive service Leigh provided at supper.

I especially appreciated sitting on that porch and just looking about Estes Park and up toward the majestic Rocky Mountains. One becomes humbled and quite thankful when considering God’s creation in such surroundings. So pleased we were able to go.

Perhaps more later . . .

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

Running the Signs, (cont)

A few weeks ago, I posted regarding my concerns of various citizens in my neighborhood running stop signs and a stop light close to our elementary school. When I contacted the police department via their Web-Site, I was passed to the Sand Creek Division, who referred me to the head of the Springs motorcycle patrol, who sent be back again to the Division, and specifically directed to me the crime prevention officer. Actually, I expected this. But along the way I learned a couple of things:

·        The motorcycle patrol is tasked with the top 25 schools/areas of concern. Apparently, we ain’t one of ‘em.

·        It really won’t be helpful to police to photograph or even video these culprits as most judges will not accept this as evidence in their courts. Tickets written by an observing officer are preferred.

Now the officers I spoke to seemed kind-hearted and empathetic but we really didn’t get anywhere. And of course school is now out for the summer so my primary concerns seem moot—at least for a season.

I think I’ll contact the school principal and get her take on the level of concern as voiced by others. Secondly, I’ll contact the Sand Creek Homeowners Association to determine if this has been brought up by others.

In the meantime, some Folks are still running the stop signs and the red light at the end of street. I’ll call the police again and complain. Then at least I’ll be on record.

Classical Preferences

I love our local Classical Music Station, KCME. I really do! I listen frequently and contribute to the cause, so I figure I can vent a little. I may even send a copy of this blog to the station; they should know how I feel.

·        There is too much piano by far! And excuse me but at least half of the 90% (Berra?) recorded from the boatload written is worthless drivel.

·        Please play more vocal music: arias, choral selections, art songs, operatic segments, etc. And when you so do, play a version featuring the human voice, not just some re-arranged orchestral elevator claptrap.

·        Tagging in on the previous point, Gilbert & Sullivan are worthy of more air time.

·        Most anything having to do with theme and variations should remain in the composer’s study and/or the rehearsal room. There are few exceptions to this rule.

·        Consider playing the entire symphony rather than selected movements? And perhaps program some of the lesser-know symphonies?

·        Maybe take a risk and play some Schönberg, Hindemith, Ligeti or Tippett?

·        How about more in the way of Medieval Music? Percussion Ensemble? Ethnic renderings? There’s a treasure trove in Jewish music alone!

·        I’m good for authentic renderings of our great musical works rather than transcriptions: an organ piece performed on organ, original band works performed by a fine wind band, harpsichord and virginal music so played, etc.

·        Asking a fine symphony orchestra or chorus to attempt to perform jazz is like trying to teach a raccoon to dance—your instructional efforts are pretty much wasted, and you also annoy the ‘coon. Stop it.

And of course, you’ve all a right to my opinion.

10 Favorite Symphonies

Yup. Sometimes a good list is all that’s required. Today you get my 10 Favorite Symphonies. They’re current to the moment but fluid and subject to change.

10 Favorite Symphonies

1.     Dvořák                      Symphony no 9                  E Minor

2.     Brahms                      Symphony no 4                  E Minor

3.     Shostakovich           Symphony no 5                  D Minor

4.     Brahms                      Symphony no 3                  F Major

5.     Beethoven                Symphony no 5                  C Minor

6.     Schubert                   Symphony no 9                  C Major

7.     Mozart                      Symphony no 40                G Minor

8.     Mahler                      Symphony no 5                  C-sharp Minor

9.     Beethoven                Symphony no 7                  A Major

10.   Mahler                     Symphony no 8                  E-flat Major

Feel free to post your own list as a reply.

Stop Signs!

Just a few days ago, I posted the following on Facebook:

Some folks in our neighborhood run the Stop Signs frequently. Living next to an elementary school seems to make little difference – even when kids are going to school or being released. Police know but just can't be here all the time. Any suggestions?

I received several helpful responses and entertained also the possibilities of shotgun and flame-thrower . . .

Earlier this afternoon, I posted the following on the Colorado Springs Police Department FB Page:

A Question, please.

 I live in the Sand Creek Division. Being recently retired, I can't help but notice a lot of folks running the stop signs in the neighborhood. This is of special concern since we live next door to an elementary school. It doesn't seem to make a difference; people run the signs just the same--even as kids are walking to school in the morning and during their release in the afternoon.

How can I help calm this down? Is Photography of the offenders at all helpful? I'm thinking Video in particular.

I'm concerned and annoyed and would see our neighborhood a better and safer place.

Thanks for all you do!

This is a major concern I have. I’ll keep you apprised of what I find out.

Ten Influential Titles

Several weeks back I read a very interesting review about writers and their personal libraries.* For each of the selected authors, the editor included an interview and respective list of the10 books that have affected and influenced them the most.

I'm skipping the interview part but thought it'd be interesting to post my ten titles. Perhaps you'd care to respond and include your own list? Could be kinda fun to compare notes.

I haven't included the Bible though it's first and foremost, and supercedes any such earthly compilation I might cobble together.

Ten Influential Titles

Anna Karenina

~Leo Tolstoy

Pillar of Iron

~Taylor Caldwell

The Robe

~Lloyd C Douglas

 The Origin of Species

~Charles Darwin

 Lee: The Last Years
~Charles Bracelen Flood

The Words We Live By

~Linda R Monk

The Complete Poems of Emily Dickinson

The Golden Ratio

~Mario Livio

Stars and Planets

~Petersen Guide

The Source

~James Michener

*Unpacking My Library: Writers and Their Books, ed Leah Price

'neath the Beaver Moon

‘neath the Beaver Moon
10 November 2011

‘neath the Beaver Moon

silence erupts steadfastly
breaking down my Fears

Concerns flittering
Conversation with MySelf
Arthritis argues

Pocket Brain’s Display
Neurons sluggish and fatigued
Somnolence does Reign

Double-Fiber Bread
Orange Juice fifty percent
slaps the Fasting Climb

‘tis quite the Challenge!
Hypoglycemic Haiku
in the Dead of Night

Electric Rhythms
accompany the morning
face the world anew

Grace can be SO Amazing!

A few minutes ago, I finished a FB Message to a young friend who'd asked me about a recent post I'd made regarding 'Grace.' I don't think this person would mind if I shared my response with you . . .

Good Morning, __________

A little over two years ago, Debra took me to the hospital--chest pains. Through the usual treatments and tests we agreed that I needed a heart-bypass (4x) procedure that would re-route blood sufficient to keep my heart working and me alive. I was not a very friendly person for those first couple of days.

I saw nothing. I heard nothing. No bright lights entered the room No glow in the corner. But sometime during the night before surgery it was made plain to me that regardless of what happened, I'd be OK. I calmed down and went on to sleep--quite a surprise that I could do so.

I had the surgery, went through the pains of recovery, etc. but never again had the crippling fear of dying, of leaving Debra and my Family. The change was remarkable and Debra and several others noticed the difference. This is God's Grace.

There have been other times He's extended his Mercies as well over the years. Sometimes for me; more often for Family Members and Friends. Much of the time I've been aware. But I suspect we've been blessed otherwise when I never knew it.

The best treatment on Grace I'm aware of is 'What's So Amazing About Grace,' by Philip Yancey. The Biblical references are there and the writing is superior. I recommend it highly.

Oh, at work a couple of days ago, a Guest gave me a note that she'd been prompted to write. Essentially, it was from Jesus and she felt led to do this for me. It came at precisely the right time and was something I needed to hear. This is Grace also.

Kindly Regards,

Kim